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User blog:HOW DARE YOU/Something a little...different: Keemstar vs Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstien
Ok, so. This isn't going to be a regualr thing, nor is it going to be one of my greatest pieces of work. This rap thing I made was honestly done to vent my frustrations on a certain issue. The issue of one internet personality who I believe to be one of the most ignorant, arrogant, and obnoxious pieces of shit I've ever had the mispleasure of seeing... As such it's going to be really REALLY one sided, which is why I put it's something a bit different in the title. So if you came to see an honest to god rap battle against these two, it's going to disappoint. Hell, I'm willing to bet hald of these bars aren't that great either seeing as how I wrote them in a rage. Then why am I posting this? ...I dunno. Again, this was made as an attempt for me to vent about one little issue that's been gnawing at the back of my head for a while. Either way, feel free to criticize it as harshly as you want. The two sides of this little "Epic Rant Rap" as I'm going to call it, as it isn't really much of a battle, are (obviously) Keemstar, of DramaAlert, aka the subject of my rant, and Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstien, who you may remember as the reporters who broke Watergate. If you don't like it, I get it. If you actually DO like it, then, as always, thanks. I'm not a rapper, I'm just a writer who sometimes needs to air out some shit in his head. Anywho...here we go. EPIC RANT. RAP. OOOOOOOOF HISTORY! KEEMSTAR! VS! CARL AND BOOOOOOOOB! BEGIN! CARL: No need to stop the presses for this jackass lawn gnome. BOB: He’s of no real importance. Just a limp-dicked chrome-dome. Over a million subscribers for this leafy dick rider? BOB: The TMZ of the web! CARL: Who’s just this HUGE fuckin’ whiner. BOB: And he thinks he’s a news source! CARL: Ha! BOB: When he can’t take criticism?! If he ever left his world of make-believe, the real world would just kill him! CARL: I guess he wants his ass to get served, since he tried to start some beef. BOB: Then let’s make another expos`e! CARL: Alright Bob, let’s keep it brief. All of Youtube hates your guts for reasons anyone can see. BOB: I heard that his only decent work was Deep Throatin’ in the trees. CARL: Your skin’s so thin, you’d bleed if the wind blows too harshly. BOB: And you think you’re always right. CARL: But are you really though? BOTH: Hardly! BOB: Someone disagrees? CARL: Block ‘em! BOB: Won’t get on your show? CARL: Stalk ‘em! BOB: Don’t have any evidence to support your bullshit story? CARL: Eh, just fuck ‘em! BOB: And I thought Nixon was a liar. Carl, look at his list of priors! CARL: Just this constant stream of slander. BOB: You sure your code ain’t LIAR? CARL: Plus if you follow the money on this whiny little bitch’s rage, There’s some harassment that he caused to a kid half his age! BOB: And even in your little show—WHERE’S THE GODDAMNED STORY?! You don’t report on anything that matters! At best you’re in the tabloid category. CARL: We’re accomplished. BOB: And acclaimed! CARL: Rewrote the history of news. BOB: And we’ll treat you like your girlfriend and turn ya black n’ blue! CARL: You know what Bob, I’ve changed my mind. I ain’t quite done deep roasting this guy. BOB: What’d ya mean? You’re not gonna hear his first verse!? That doesn’t seem fair. But, I guess, it’s his just deserts. CARL: After all, this DJ couldn’t turn the tables if he wanted to. BOB: Just like his show, he’ll fail because he has no follow through. CARL: You’re as bad as a reporter as you are a damn father. Acting more like a child than your five year old daughter! BOB: And I can only imagine what she deals with on a daily basis. You think she’s heard that clip of when you acted like a racist?! CARL: Honestly, you’re what gives reporters a bad fuckin’ name! BOB: Put your popcorn down, and quit bringin’ us shame! CARL: You’d say we’re old and decrepit, but at least we’re tolerated! BOB: You’re an annoying egotist! Is it any wonder why you’re hated? CARL: You know, I think that’ll do it. Have this sent to the editor. BOB: And while you mention it, I think I’ve got the headliner: “All of Keem’s forces, and all the president’s men Couldn’t put his sad career back together again.” WHO WON?! (or...I guess wAS IT GOOD?!) WHO'S NEXT!? HONestly, that's an answer I don't have so....yeah Category:Blog posts